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Sunday, January 21, 2018

The Four Tendencies



With all the talk of New Year, New Me, what better time to discover your personality profile, and how to make your life better than in January. If you're looking to make some changes, but can't seem to take the first step, it's helpful to identify what special things your personality profile requires. 

I had read Gretchen Rubin's Better Than Before a few years ago, zeroed in on my bad habits, and what I should do to change them. But I never did! 🤦
What I began to discover while reading about my tendency in The Four Tendencies, is that I never changed those habits because I didn't have outer accountability. 

The tendencies describe how a person responds to an expectation. After taking the quiz, while it wasn't a strong result, I settled on Obliger. 
Obligers need to create outer accountability in order to make changes. Rubin says most men & women are this tendency. Obligers get along well with the other three tendencies. 

I'll get right into some things I can't identify with in the obliger analysis:
"I can't take time for myself." This is something I have never had an issue with, I happily spend time by myself. This, along with getting enough sleep, having time for fun, and consistent regular exercise, are areas that I identify more with Upholders.  
I have no problems meeting the expectations of a boss. In fact, I find I need expectations to be clearly defined from a supervisor, then I understand what is required of me, and I strive to fulfill those needs. 
I don't feel exploited. A situation arose at work where I took on additional work with extra pay. After some time, I was informed I wasn't going to be paid any longer for it, but was still asked to do the work. I carefully thought about this, and decided it was best to stand up for myself and I discontinued that additional work. I recognize times when I could be taken advantage of, and won't allow it. 

I can identify with:
Accountability. I struggle with time management, giving myself enough time to get to places on time. I underestimate the amount of time needed, and think there's enough time to get things done & get myself ready. I almost always run out of time. I read that if there is no outer expectations, obligers won't be accountable. 
Another way outer accountability arises for me is cleaning when company comes over. I take that as an opportunity to tidy the entire house, where I normally just focus on a few rooms. That's normal, right?  
I can't give up junk. (That's going to take another book, learning to purge! 😝)
I do break promises to myself. Not to others though. I HATE to lose money.  

Reading about the other tendencies helps me understand people in my life, like my husband, the Questioner. Rubin explains that in order to comply with something, questioners, well, question everything. (Even when they get answers, they are not guaranteed to comply.) It's not good enough to just ask them to do something. There's a strong need for Questioners to understand why something is important. 

I recognized the Rebel tendency in a challenging student. I was baffled with the behaviours he presented the past 2 semesters. He refused to do a lot of the work, didn't participate the way others did, and even called me by my name (other students call me Teacher, or Miss.)

Now that I understand what I need, outer accountability, in order to break my time management habit, I should have a handle on overcoming it. Rubin suggests apps, which basically act as alarms. With a lot of advanced planning, and not leaving anything to the last minute, it's been going well so far.  
Wish me luck sticking to my resolution of giving myself more time, and conquering my time management struggles!  

I received The Four Tendencies in a GoodReads giveaway.

Until next time,

Kara


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